Mike Kelly: "...I'm going to let it run all night."

Everyone Else: "Mike, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"I do everything with my dick" - Mike Kelly

"I don't do porn, I do snuff films" - Mike Kelly

"If I find her, she will come" - Mike Kelly

"You ever been raped by an M-16?" - Mike Kelly

"I'll sexually offend her" - Mike Kelly, on the topic of 'sex offenders'